If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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