If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
