walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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