Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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