I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
