i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
