she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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