who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
