You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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