Betty ford says i'm here all night
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
