This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
