Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
