I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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