We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's never too late to be topless.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
