k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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