I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
