I'm so fucking centered right now
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
