When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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