I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
