Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
