No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
