I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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