you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
