I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
