I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize