why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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