Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
