I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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