happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
