did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
