I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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