Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
