I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
