____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
