just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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