so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
