She's JV to your varsity
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
