Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
