dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
