Your face is a jimmy john
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
