every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
