you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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