That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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