Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
