some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
