Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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