Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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