Nicole vs. Life
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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