did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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