direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
