just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
