and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
